Alone and Together

My husband and I have an integrated relationship. We influence each other heavily when we are together a lot. When we are apart, we revert back to another state of who we are without each other.

I suppose that I'm a different person with everyone. Every individual I mean brings out a different part of me. The people who bring out the parts of me I like, I tend to hang around with more. The people who push my buttons or bring out a side of me that I don't like, I tend to avoid.

I probably shouldn't avoid them, since the fact that some people bring out an angry, or frustrated or insincere side of me is a sign that I need to work on something. Or perhaps, it's a sign of my deep judgements and expectations. Instead, I take the easy way out and shy away from those people.

My husband brings out parts of me that rarely get to see the light of day. Parts of me that I would love to show, but can't without putting too much of myself out there for criticism. My hubby gives me a safe place to be me in a way that I can't be me anywhere else.

Generally, I don't believe that other people make us happy. We make ourselves happy. So I like to think that I make myself happy by making the choice of being with my hubby and keeping our relationship strong. I haven't met anyone like him. I'm very glad that ended up with each other 15 years ago.

I miss him. It will be two weeks before I see him again. Until then, I'm on my own. Focusing on my relationship with myself and with my kids. It sure will be nice to have him around again though.