When people express themselves in an honestly honest way, it's not scary or threatening. Many of us have been trained to think that feelings like anger and fear are bad things, but they aren't. They are part of who we are and when we are truly being open and honest about how we feel about things, we don't create drama.
Sometimes, in our being honest, others will create drama in return because of their own masking of their feelings - and that's not our fault. Being real is scary though, because there is a chance that we'll put ourselves out there only to receive drama in return.
I like to think that I don't create any drama. But the truth is, I do - when I'm scared or embarrassed, mostly. And when I'm trying to stop other people's drama, I sometimes create it, too, having learned that's the best way to deal with things.
I'm learning that there is a difference between having an honest opinion, and creating drama, and working on trying to choose sharing honest opinion over creating drama.
I have had this on my wall for a while now, and got it from a book I read years ago. I can't remember the book I got it from, so if you do, email me and I'll give it proper credit.
Opinions vs. Drama
- Opinions inform, drama stirs the pot.
- Opinions are meant to communicate, drama is meant to silence the other.
- Opinions contain acknowledged feelings, drama masks the dashed expectation or fear of not being in control with a false sense of control.
- Opinions take responsibility for one's own perspective, drama blames the other for what one feels.
- Opinions ask for change but allows others to have opinions, too, while drama is a strategy to mask a demand that the other change.
- Opinions are nonviolent, drama is violent, aggressive, passive aggressive, derisive, and punitive.
- Opinions express an assertive response, drama represses true feeling (fear and embarrassment, usually).
- Opinions releases and aliveness of one's true self, drama creates stress because one's bruised ego is enraged.
- Opinions need no response, drama insists that the other see how justified one is.
- Opinions bridges distance, drama is a belligerent reaction that intends to punish or show the badness of the "other".